What We Want Is Simple

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Some of you are old enough to remember Pogo: We have met the enemy and he is us.

Sometimes it seems that old Pogo got it right. There were tens of thousands of white people marching in Minneapolis last week against ICE. They think it’s wrong to arrest illegal immigrants — even convicted felons. They are not all insane. They’re not all idiots. How do you explain to them that there is another point of view?

The poet Robert Frost said that a liberal is a man too broadminded to take his own side in a quarrel.

White people won’t take their own side in any quarrel about race. They take the other side. If Africa is a mess, if Detroit is poor, if the planet is warming, if there is war, famine, disease, ignorance, crime, poverty — white people will tell you it’s our fault: We did awful things in the past and we keep doing them today without even knowing it.

Not long ago, if you wanted white people to take their own side, you first had to convince them they exist — and have a side — because race is a phony concept that we were tricked into thinking was real.

That form of insanity seems to have mostly cured itself, because if you are going to blame white people you have to be able to identify the culprits. I imagine those earnest, ICE-hating Minnesotans would agree.

I think they would probably agree that people of color have rights and interests. Blacks need a caucus in the US Congress to look out for black people.

Same for Hispanics and Asians, but not white people, because we are the majority. When we become a minority, then do we get a caucus? If not, why not?

I’m sure those white people would also say it’s fine for minorities to want to be around each other. Koreans can have their own churches if they want to worship with people like themselves, even if they are the same denomination as people of other races.

Blacks or Hispanics can have their own graduation ceremonies and even college dorms.

Credit Image: © Adam Schultz/White House/Planet Pix via ZUMA Press Wire

Just Google “national black association of,” and see how many results you get.

Why is that just fine, but a white association would be no good? Once we are a minority, can we have white associations? If so, why wait until we are a minority?

You could ask those white Minnesotans if they have preferences. Do they ever socialize with illegal immigrants? Or with non-whites, legal or not? Are they happy or comfortable walking through the part of Minneapolis known as Little Mogadishu, which is 90 percent black?

Have they ever even been there? Why do Somalis like living there? How come white Minnesotans don’t want to live there or any place like that?

And since they don’t, do they really want an immigration policy that will make more parts of America look like Brownsville, Texas, which is 95 percent Hispanic? Why is everyone in the middle school Hispanic — even in the band?

Is it possible they might like it that way? Would white people ever want to have their own band — or school, or community, or country?

Ultimately, you want the ICE-haters to recognize double standards. Why can Israel be Jewish, Japan stay Japanese, Turkey be for the Turks, but America has to be for everyone?

Credit Image: © Imago via ZUMA Press

Islamic Republic of Pakistan is the official name of the country.

It has an identity. Why must America be everything for everyone with no real identity? Because of “American exceptionalism?” White men wrote the Constitution to secure the blessings of liberty “for ourselves and our posterity.”

The first naturalization law limited citizenship to “free white persons of good character.” When did we decide to put the country up for grabs for everyone? Did we ever vote on that?

Do all white countries have to be for everyone, just like America? If they should all be up for grabs, why not China or Saudi Arabia?

I might point out to those marching Minnesotans that under a democratic system, bloc-voting newcomers can end up running the place. In the last election for mayor of Minneapolis, the Somali Omar Fateh lost by only 8,000 votes out of 140,000 cast.

Credit Image: © Leila Navidi/Minnesota Star Tribune via ZUMA Press Wire

And here’s the current city council, along with the mayor. Only 30 percent of council members are white, even though whites are 60 percent of the population.

Does that make the white people wonder — even just a little bit — about what’s going on? Do they really and truly want Somalis and blacks and Muslims setting policy for their city?

Maybe some of those marching white are nature lovers. I’d tell them about the Cuban Crocodile, which is critically endangered.

Credit: Zanbog, CC BY-SA 2.0, via Wikimedia Commons

Its habitat is shrinking, and it’s being genetically swamped by breeding with the much more common American Crocodile. Scientists are desperate to keep them apart so the Cuban croc can survive.

Credit: Tomás Castelazo, CC BY-SA 2.5, via Wikimedia Commons

Most people wouldn’t notice if it disappeared, but biodiversity is valuable. Even the endangered Comal Springs Riffle Beetle — which you have never heard of and is the size of a strawberry seed — is so precious that if one wanders across the property line, you may not be able to build on your own land because protecting its habitat is more important.

Would it be wrong to think white people are at least as valuable as Cuban Crocodiles or Riffle Beetles? Whites are only about 9 percent of the world population and have only about 5 percent of the world’s babies. Every year, in Europe, about two million more white people die than are born, and in the US, the number is about half a million.

At the same time, advertising constantly promotes mixed-race couples, often with mixed-race children. Is it OK to want to preserve the habitat of white people or worry about them being genetically swamped? Or should white people just disappear? It looks like Ben Shapiro wouldn’t care. He doesn’t “give a good goddam about the so-called ‘browning of America’.”

If, at this point, those compassionate, tolerant, inclusive white Minnesotans tell you no, white people should just disappear, then you have a hard case on your hands. It probably won’t do any good to point out that white people invented everything they love, from abolition of slavery to socialism to same-sex marriage to smart phones. So, I would propose to these compassionate, tolerant whites to let the rest of us go our own way. “There are a lot more of us than you think,” I would say, “and this is like a marriage with irreconcilable differences. We need a divorce. You can even keep the children, all your non-white pals. Let’s work out a division of assets.”

Shouldn’t they be so happy to see us go that they’d immediately give us half the country? Probably not. I think the idea of white people living among themselves, happy and trusting, leaving their doors unlocked, running their own affairs, and having lots of children! — without the help of a single Somali — I imagine the very idea would sound so tempting, it would make them furious.